I digress, it had been plaguing my mind for some time and it was becoming a real source of anxiety because I simply felt unfit and weary. After much prayer and discussion I came to realize what was being asked of me. To have faith that in the midst of what I perceive as chaos, that God would be faithfully by my side to uphold me, strengthen me and be my peace. (Typically this is something I fail daily at and retreat to be alone instead of allowing the Lord to be strong in my weakness.) I had to come to my decision based not out of guilt, but out of conviction. I didn't want to be guilted into taking the job simply because the offer was on the table, or because we have student loans to pay off. There's something to be said for quality of life and the ability to have a sound mind!
I have peace doing the very thing that I fought hard against! He has given me faith. He has given me peace. And daily He has given me grace to do the things that I am insufficient in myself.
Anyways, through all of this I am learning in leadership. Humble, servant leadership. Learning to train and equip others, to counsel, to rebuke and correct gently. The best thing we could possibly ever do to prepare for whatever is next is that our character might be strengthened in godliness. This is just that for me, a school teaching me about people. How to lead them in ways that are inspiring and uplifting. How to encourage in a way that brings out the best work a person can do, and that they might enjoy it in the meantime! Many lessons for me to learn.
As always, needing His grace and peace.
"And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you,
asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will
in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,
so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord,
fully pleasing to Him,
bearing fruit in every food work and increasing in the knowledge of God.
May you be strengthened with all power according to his glorious might,
for all endurance and patience with joy,
giving thanks to the Father,
who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.
He has delivered us from the domain of darkness
and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son,
in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."